Just about a year ago I made New York City my new home. I moved with no real direction other than a feeling in my gut and a few songs in my back pocket written at some of the most painful stages of my life. I didn’t hope for anything, I wasn’t ready, I didn’t pray too much, and I wasn’t sure I deserved answers, but destiny led me here. That guttural gnawing in my stomach was soon to be answered. I started straight ahead at work on my record and in doing so I found the soul in my sound. I learned of the little trinkets in my tone and the beauty hiding behind the belts of my diaphragm. The gnawing in my belly all these years was just myself needing to be set free. I thought, if I don’t hash through this close-to-the-bone agony to do what I was gifted to do then this will be the end of me. I knew I wouldn’t have the energy left to pick myself up again. Tomorrow I have an appointment to finalize my record. I will go into the mastering session and I will hear so many beautiful sounds blossom like a beautiful rose filled with new life. I will hear my sweat, blood, and tears. My life stories will take off into the sky like a dragonfly. Most of all, I will be doing this knowing that I fought, I believed, I prayed, and so, I finished. This year has been filled with so much soul and so much guts and glory, that it is indescribable how my heart feels so warm and humble. I am jumping into my jacket and snow boots now to head into the studio, one last time. I will be finishing vocals on my song “Dragonfly”, the last song to be completed. What a perfect way to wrap this record and to start my new life, high in the sky where I have always dreamed of being, and so far far from my silhouette of pain. I will check back in tomorrow evening after the mastering of “From My Integrated Soul”. I hope I will be able to rest tonight! I feel so many things~
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Jullian On Soundcloud